The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
