I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
