I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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