Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
