I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
