I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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