Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
