Sober January is a disaster.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Alive.
So much puke
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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