He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She's the barista slut.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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