I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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