I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
