I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
