drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
