ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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