i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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