are you so shy because you have an std?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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