so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
