you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
