Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you traded sex for a burrito?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize