She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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