yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
