The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
