I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
