At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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