Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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