It's Friday. Sex?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
