Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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