so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
