i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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