the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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