i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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