Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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