I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
only you would photoshop your dick
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
