if you like me you must not know who I am
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
