the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
