How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize