She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
How's work?
Spinning.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My ass is underappreciated
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize