I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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