addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
