Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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