sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
