There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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