i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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