You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize