WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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