I just saw a hot homeless man
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
