I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
