went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
