She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
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