Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
