hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She's the barista slut.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
