Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
