There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
