I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
