ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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