Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
