She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
