Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
