i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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