How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
