Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
