We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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