Im at strip club and am horny
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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