There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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